The World Robbed My Soul

The World Robbed My Soul

I know it's been long but there is so much going on in my life everyday and i am just too lazy to post each and every one of these occasions. I might post an outline of interesting encounters over the past few months in a couple of weeks though.

Basically, i am currently reading Bachelors of Medicine/ Bachelors of Surgery (MBBS) in Monash University. I barely scrapped through that. Thank GOD! New environment, new friends who are awesome! I believe 5 years is too short a period of time to spend with them but i shall cherish every moment i ll have with this dynamic group of people.

Back to the post*

"I pray for those who are in need, for those who are suffering, and even for those i see in newspapers and feel very sorry for. I pray for my family, my relatives and my friends and i really hope that everything will turn out well for them. I don't mind even if it means that i have to suffer as long as the others are happy and well"

- That WAS ME... a couple of years ago.

Life, in general was simple. I genuinely hoped for the betterment of people in general and i was quite selfless.

"I pray that i can pass my exams and hopefully excel in them, i pray that i could be extraordinary, that i will be someone some day, that i will have a beautiful family, that i will be successful, that i will be rich and bla bla bla, the list goes on..."

- This IS ME NOW.

There's so much to catch up with in life that i do not even know what i am chasing after anymore. Is this what life is all about? An endless chase? Something new will arise after we have achieved something. I used to wince at this thought, proudly thinking that i won't fall into this category, that i would not succumb to peer pressure, that i will always be true to myself. But is this so? I doubt so now. I doubt myself. I feel that sometimes, i say things for the "formality" of it. I lost the sense and essence of being genuine. I lost... me.

When i was young i used to wonder why people would change over time. I was pretty confident that i am strong enough to constantly remind myself to always be humble and selfless but over time, from one aim to another, i begin to think more of myself than of the others. My surroundings have tempted me to change and i followed blindly. I realised that simplicity had seeped out of me and sophistication had crept in and i don't want this to happen. I don't want to be a hypocrite.

I guess i should just stop aiming and return back to basics. But it certainly won't be easy and i might not succeed. Thus, i would like to apologize if i have disappointed any of you. Just so you know, i am disappointed of myself.