At first, he was rather casual. He asked me about how i was, about what i had been doing lately and we discussed about general interests. This lasted for 30 minutes and glimmers of hope arose in me. I hoped he was genuinely concerned in me as a friend and that he had brushed his motive of persuading me into his activity aside. As much as i would like that idea to have occurred, it did not. After forty minutes into the conversation, he touched on the topic that i hated but had anticipated for a long time,... his activity. I immediately told him that i was not keen because it is illegal in this country. I was quite taken aback by how blatant i was. His reaction totally changed and he tried to persuade me again, telling me in Malay "Is it? It isn't illegal! I have heard a lot of negative comments too last time but seriously, it is not like that at all! How old are you? Don't you want to earn some money?"
I stood firmly on my decision and answered him politely in Malay "No, i am sorry but i am really not interested".
I tried changing the topic to something else. He followed my flow for a few minutes and faked a few smiles but he reacted in a way where he seemed forced to be polite and interested. A huge sense of disappointment was apparent in him but he tried to hide it. Less than 5 minutes later, he said that he had to leave as he was "busy". He stood up and took his motorcycle helmet with him. I called for the waiter and paid for my drinks. In turn, i offered to pay for the glass of plain water he barely even sipped. He declined and said "Its okay. It only costs 20 cents right?"
After he left with his motorcycle, i sat down alone somewhere else as i waited for my mother's car and confined myself to a painful solidarity. I wondered why i was so foolish to have placed so much of hope on friends as an institution. Depending on the foundations where friendships are built on, on how often you keep in contact, and on the changes that might occur in either you or your friends, friendship in general is a weak institution to rely on. It is circumstantial. I knew that but i am always persistent in believing the general goodness of people, that people are driven by ingenuity, not by motives. After this incident and countless others, i finally decided to be more selective in allowing friends to enter my circle. Not everyone is driven by motives and from now onwards, it is this type of people i am interested in mixing with. At that point, i knew i had to... kill... the friendship i had with the friend i have mentioned before this. I would be nice to him if i were to meet him by chance or by destiny but i wouldn't consider him as a friend. He is an acquaintance, nothing more, nothing less. After making that decision (and this is hard for me cause i don't normally end friendships), i thought about the newly made acquaintance, the friend i used to have and i reminisced about the friendship back then.
We used to be rather close. One of the best Malay buddies i had, considering the fact that my previous school comprised of a vast majority of Chinese. We used to work collaboratively in different areas and helped each other out to improve what we were weak in. He could not find anyone to mix with as he thought that the students in class back then were rather inconsiderate towards his feelings, culture and emotions. I helped him by comforting him, being rather proud as i thought that i have finally made a Malay friend, a close one too. He was better in his handwork and was rather thoughtful as he figured out how to work on certain technical problems for me. After form three, he transferred to a different school and we stopped hanging out since, though we lived only a few yards away from each other.Well, at the very least, our friendship was left untouched with happiness and i would rather not have seen him at the LRT station. If i hadn't, his image would have been that of a pure friend and one that is truthful. However, the meetings this year have stained his image and had turned my perception of him completely and of how people would change over time; be it for the better or for the worse but very few will remain as who they are...
My mothers' car hooted, ending my thoughts abruptly. Without turning back, i headed to my mother's car, closed the door and left the place, leaving our friendship buried behind.
Every account of the events stated above is true and is non- fictional. The incident where i met up with my friend at the mamak only occurred a couple of weeks ago.
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