The Peak with its Gift

When Cupid Strikes

The threshold of newly found treasures

A moment to feel

Hopeful regurgitated practices are tested

The enthralling exploration

At its best when the limit's sky high

An end to occasional emptiness

A gain for status

Struck by confusions at times

Reciprocal imaginations might solve it all

When the magnets start pulling

The butterflies flutter

And by the time you knew it

Cupid has taken his shot

This gift at humans' peak

Its simply inexplicable

This post has nothing to do with me at the moment. Its a rather random post from me dedicated to those who are in love. Hope that those of you who are currently struck by Cupid enjoys it!

At that point, i knew i had to... kill... (part 2)

The Last Resort (Part 2)

At first, he was rather casual. He asked me about how i was, about what i had been doing lately and we discussed about general interests. This lasted for 30 minutes and glimmers of hope arose in me. I hoped he was genuinely concerned in me as a friend and that he had brushed his motive of persuading me into his activity aside. As much as i would like that idea to have occurred, it did not. After forty minutes into the conversation, he touched on the topic that i hated but had anticipated for a long time,... his activity. I immediately told him that i was not keen because it is illegal in this country. I was quite taken aback by how blatant i was. His reaction totally changed and he tried to persuade me again, telling me in Malay "Is it? It isn't illegal! I have heard a lot of negative comments too last time but seriously, it is not like that at all! How old are you? Don't you want to earn some money?"


I stood firmly on my decision and answered him politely in Malay "No, i am sorry but i am really not interested".


I tried changing the topic to something else. He followed my flow for a few minutes and faked a few smiles but he reacted in a way where he seemed forced to be polite and interested. A huge sense of disappointment was apparent in him but he tried to hide it. Less than 5 minutes later, he said that he had to leave as he was "busy". He stood up and took his motorcycle helmet with him. I called for the waiter and paid for my drinks. In turn, i offered to pay for the glass of plain water he barely even sipped. He declined and said "Its okay. It only costs 20 cents right?"

After he left with his motorcycle, i sat down alone somewhere else as i waited for my mother's car and confined myself to a painful solidarity. I wondered why i was so foolish to have placed so much of hope on friends as an institution. Depending on the foundations where friendships are built on, on how often you keep in contact, and on the changes that might occur in either you or your friends, friendship in general is a weak institution to rely on. It is circumstantial. I knew that but i am always persistent in believing the general goodness of people, that people are driven by ingenuity, not by motives. After this incident and countless others, i finally decided to be more selective in allowing friends to enter my circle. Not everyone is driven by motives and from now onwards, it is this type of people i am interested in mixing with. At that point, i knew i had to... kill... the friendship i had with the friend i have mentioned before this. I would be nice to him if i were to meet him by chance or by destiny but i wouldn't consider him as a friend. He is an acquaintance, nothing more, nothing less. After making that decision (and this is hard for me cause i don't normally end friendships), i thought about the newly made acquaintance, the friend i used to have and i reminisced about the friendship back then.

We used to be rather close. One of the best Malay buddies i had, considering the fact that my previous school comprised of a vast majority of Chinese. We used to work collaboratively in different areas and helped each other out to improve what we were weak in. He could not find anyone to mix with as he thought that the students in class back then were rather inconsiderate towards his feelings, culture and emotions. I helped him by comforting him, being rather proud as i thought that i have finally made a Malay friend, a close one too. He was better in his handwork and was rather thoughtful as he figured out how to work on certain technical problems for me. After form three, he transferred to a different school and we stopped hanging out since, though we lived only a few yards away from each other.Well, at the very least, our friendship was left untouched with happiness and i would rather not have seen him at the LRT station. If i hadn't, his image would have been that of a pure friend and one that is truthful. However, the meetings this year have stained his image and had turned my perception of him completely and of how people would change over time; be it for the better or for the worse but very few will remain as who they are...


My mothers' car hooted, ending my thoughts abruptly. Without turning back, i headed to my mother's car, closed the door and left the place, leaving our friendship buried behind.





Every account of the events stated above is true and is non- fictional. The incident where i met up with my friend at the mamak only occurred a couple of weeks ago.

At that point, i knew i had to... kill... (part 1)

The Last Resort (Part 1)

As i exited the cyber cafe, i found him outside waiting anxiously for me.


"Hi Jun Beng! How are you?" he exclaimed with a thick Malay accent.

He had huge eyes, his wavy hair was short and curly, his nose was flat, and his skin, kuning langsat. He dressed up rather casually and had this matter of fact tone in him but was covered up by a superficially generated friendliness and warmth.

"Get straight to the point" i thought but i dismissed that attitude and was civilised enough to practise patience.

He invited me to have dinner at the mamak just right outside and offered to give me a treat. I wanted to hesitate but i wondered " Would this offer last after i clarify my stand?"

As the saying goes 'curiosity kills the cat', i just had to know. Furthermore, this would strengthen the perception i already had of him; the only motive he had in mind when he called me and insisted to meet up with me.Since i returned from Melbourne, we had met up thrice. The first was a pure coincidence when i saw him at the Light Rail Transit (LRT) station. That was our first meeting after three and the half years of separation. We exchanged numbers and he sent me a few short text messages at random times talking about the past and this reminded me of the old times. He even called me on Saturdays and asked me to venture to One Utama shopping mall with him to play bowling and meet up with his friends at night; offers that i have never once accepted as i felt rather awkward and my intuition somehow told me not to.

I brought my god brother along as we met up for the second time. I didn't know who to call as i doubted that the schoolmates i normally hang out with will actually remember him. We basically had lunch and caught up with a movie at Imax theater (Batman was cool by the way!). After the movie, he continued talking about the activity he was involved in, picking up what he had left before the movie. He spoke quite silently and he seemed rather surreptitious, occasionally looking around to ensure that nobody was in an audible range apart from us. I felt rather sceptical about his attitude and was uncomfortable with the situation.


Over the next few days, he called me and my god brother and tried to persuade us to join in his activity. He was very persistent about meeting up with each of us personally, claiming to be interested in how we are and wanting to know more about what we have been doing. Clearly, his motives were obvious and this had devastated me; i was initially overjoyed by the event of having met up with a good, genuine long lost friend, but he bore another intention in mind. However, he faked and carried out his acting in being concerned pretty well. I would seriously give an Oscar in persuasion (if there is any) and in acting to this group of people!

I was stranded in ambivalence as i finally struggled to push the thousand and one questions i had in mind aside to wisely end all these nonsense. I consented to meeting up with him again and i decided to choose the place in fear of him voting for a place i am not familiar with. Somewhere crowded and bright, and the mamak outside the cyber cafe near the place i am currently learning culinary arts was a good option.